


Feelings Are Harder Than Science

by swordPrincess



Series: Labstuck [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Labstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:44:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordPrincess/pseuds/swordPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy has had a thing for John ever since the sections have been opened up. Frustrated at her small chances for speaking with him, she enlists Rose to "help" her.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>labstuck.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings Are Harder Than Science

**Author's Note:**

> This one took far longer than intended. Finally putting this up here after working on it in parts for tumblr.
> 
> As always, you can get more up-to-date fic, info and also ask the characters questions at the labstuck tumblr.

Roxy found herself, as she did often these days, hanging out in Rose's outer room, the one connected to the hallway. It was a simple enough ploy to get in - she did legitimately enjoy the company of her genetic daughter and duplicate of the woman she herself had grown up under the shadow of, although she had missed actually being raised by her due to untimely death. The harder task was finding an excuse to get her ear as close to the outer door as possible, to try to pay attention to Rose and the minute sounds coming from down the hall, and of course, finding a reason to open the door should she hear the exit of the inhabitants.

She mostly failed at this task. It was nearly impossible to hear such a simple sound while not remaining quiet, and she was too often pulled into quite engaging conversation with Rose. Not that she regretted their chats, it was just that it made her hallway encounters limited to times when they all had to leave for stated reasons - school or trips to the labs.

She sighed a bit, thinking on this. If only there were a way to make the Egberts' exits louder and more distinct, it would make things easier on herself.

Rose raised one eyebrow and gave a half smile to go with it. "I suppose you wish John's door had a bell?" she asked slyly.

Roxy's face turned slightly pink with the bold, assuming, but almost suspiciously on the mark question. She offered an embarrassed smile in return. "Am I that obvious?"

"I wasn't aware you were trying to hide it," Rose commented.

Roxy supposed she hadn't been. Not trying, really, just hoping her actions didn't seem like that was the only reason she was coming over. "You know I'd come over to visit anyway, right? I really, really enjoy your company, Rose, I swear."

Rose nodded and her smile spread to both sides of her lips. "I know. It's just that perhaps I'd also be invited over to your room, hmm?" she said. "And since there is an equally attractive adult male in the room next to yours, so much so as to have the same face as the one next to mine, I would guess that your interest lies in John?"

Roxy folded her fingers together and started playing with her thumbnails, looking down at them now, rather than at Rose. "I always thought Jane's dad was totes hot, don't get me wrong, but he is sorta out of my reach, ya know?"

"Of course."

"But John- John!" Roxy closed her eyes and bit her lip for a moment before unclasping her hands and finally looking back at the other girl. "He's so cute. And he's not gay. And he's not taken. And he likes a lot of the things I do. And then he has this whole contrast thing going on. Like dark skin and blue eyes, how hot is that?" She fluttered her left hand to her chest, near her heart.

Rose's smile turned somewhat to a smirk. "Isn't that last thing even more true of your friend?"

Roxy blinked a bit. "What? Jane? Oh." She laughed. "Oh, yeah, Janey is totes hot. Fuckin swoon." She didn't notice as an almost predatory expression crossed Rose's face and continued, "Anyway, I think I really like him a lot, and we could maybe be something, but for once in my life, I'm a little afraid of scaring him off. What if I ruin the one thing I could've had? Help meeeeeeee!" She clasped her hands again, this time in begging position. She scooted closer to Rose.

Rose was silent for just long enough to make Roxy feel uncomfortable, the plead increasing in her eyes. "Alright," she finally said, with a smile that just might qualify as mischievous.

Rose stood herself up and headed toward the door, passing Roxy who scrambled to her feet after her. "What are we doing?" she asked as Rose opened the door. "Rose?"

Rose didn't answer. She just grinned, somewhere between playfulness and smug, self-satisfaction. She strode down the hall, head held high and just about reeking confidence, attracting attention from several guards until she came to a stop. Then she knocked on John's outer door.

"Rooooose," Roxy hissed. "Tell me what you're doiiiiiiiing."

She was panicking a little. She had never panicked about a boy before. Outright, upfront flirting was her usual delivery, and she'd even done some with John already, which seemed to fluster the boy adorably. But now she was at the mercy of Rose's plan that she didn't even know. She wondered if she'd regret asking for help.

She remembered Rose had told her once that she and John were in the past. What if she still liked him? She wouldn't sabotage her, would she? No...she wouldn't...right?

Roxy attempted to calm herself, pulling and twisting lightly at the curl that wound itself near her ear.

John's dad answered the door. He smiled when he saw it was Rose that had knocked.

Rose smiled back at him, nothing but innocent niceness in her expression now. _What an actress_ , Roxy thought.

"Hello, Mr. Egbert," Rose greeted smoothly.

"Hello, Rose," he returned. "What brings you by today?" He turned his gaze a bit to Roxy, a flicker of uncertainty passing his kind features, before coming back to Rose.

Rose turned a bit toward Roxy and indicated her as she spoke again, "I was just telling Roxy here about how Mom and I used to come over for dinner when I was little and how lovely your cooking was."

_No you weren't!_ Roxy complained inwardly.

Rose continued, facing John's dad again, "So I wondered if it would be alright with you if her and I came over sometime for a meal, if that wouldn't be too strange or a bother."

He smiled, if a bit sadly, recalling days gone. "That would be fine," he answered her. "Actually, I could probably fit you into dinner tonight, if you are alright with such short notice."

"That would be lovely," Rose replied without even a moment's hesitation. "When should we be expected back for it?"

"Actually..." Mr. Egbert said, opening the door a bit wider. "You can come in right now if you'd like. John is in his room. Perhaps he'd like some company."

Rose beamed. Roxy smiled as well, although her nerves kicked up. They were escorted in politely and John was called out of his room, appearing moments later and blinking at them. Roxy was attempting to discern if she spotted any pink on his cheeks. It was so hard to tell.

She found herself getting a bit lost into his clear, blue eyes as he, somewhat awkwardly, asked them if they'd like to watch a movie.

==>

Earlier that day, John had sat on the couch waiting for his dad to emerge from the kitchen again. Today was the day, he assured himself, he'd finally talk to him today. No more chickening out, afraid to recall memories. Some things just needed to be said so he'd even know how to feel.

He practiced his card tricks while he waited.

Eventually, Dad came out, and John stood up, still fiddling with his deck a bit, but the action caught his dad's attention enough to make him come over. "Would you like some help with that, son?" he asked, probably thinking he needed him to pick a card or some related activity, but John shook his head.

"Actually, Dad, I-" John clumsily put the cards down on the coffee table, some of them falling over in his haste. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

His dad sat down and indicated that he should speak freely. John followed, fiddling with his now empty fingers nervously.

"So, you met the other kids, right?" John opened. His father nodded. John swallowed before continuing. "Roxy is.... Is it weird?"

Dad raised his eyebrows in surprise at the question. "Is what weird?" he inquired further.

"Having her around," John asked, not quite looking at him. "I mean, she's identical to..."

John was well aware that his dad had been in love with Rose's mom. Although their relationship had not been entirely open knowledge - had the lab heads and funding group found out, they may have gotten in trouble and been forbidden to see each other - it was obvious enough that John and Rose, as well as the other guardians, saw it plainly. He knew she had not been over constantly simply for his dad's meals, although they were good.

Dad put both his hands on John's shoulders and forced him to look squarely in his eyes. His expression reflected some sadness and regret, but mostly an honest seriousness that John trusted in above most else.

"John," he spoke. "As you know now, I have a twin brother." John wavered a moment, recalling that he hadn't known that until recently. Dave had thrown that secret in his face a little bit, his friend always having been one to distrust anyone having to do with the labs, and John had adamantly defended his dad at the time, but privately he had become a bit unsure. He looked back to his dad again as he continued. "I know more than most that an identical face does not make you the same person. Even if you have a lot in common."

John nodded and bit his lip. He guessed that that made sense. It's not like his father would want a 16-year-old girl anyway. But just the mere fact that a genetically identical girl existed wasn't what had confused his mind and made him talk.

"John?" Dad inquired. "Is there more that's worrying you?"

"It's not worry, exactly. More, I'm just not sure what I should feel," John admitted.

His dad tilted his head a bit at this, looking at his son closely. "What you should feel about Roxy?"

"She's been...sort of...flirting with me?" That was an understatement. Dave had described Roxy's flirting as "blatant and without regard to the personal safety or mental health of others". John felt that was a bit of an exaggeration, but probably still closer to the mark than "sort of".

A very slight, amused smile came upon his father's face and John wondered how much he could guess at the truth of the matter. He didn't question that, however, but instead asked, "Do you like her?"

John felt the blood rise to his face and turned away slightly. "I...I don't know! Why are we talking about this?"

His dad chuckled now. "You came to me, John."

"I..." John tried to calm himself after his little outburst, taking deep breaths. "I did."

Dad looked at him seriously again. "John...it is perfectly okay to like her even if she has the same face as someone we once knew and felt differently about. And I daresay if you do, you have fine taste in women. That said," he amended, "it is also perfectly okay not to like her, even if it seems that she likes you. You don't have to stop yourself from feeling what you do, nor do you have to force yourself to have feelings that you don't. You just have to figure which it is for yourself."

John nodded, although he still wasn't certain which part of the advice he needed.

"And no matter what," his dad continued, "I'm proud of you, son."

John gave a side smile at his father's oft-used line. "Okay, Dad," he said.

His dad gave him a manly hug and continued on to his study. John himself picked up his cards and retreated to his room until the moment he was called out and faced with both Lalonde girls at once.

He still didn't know what he should feel.

==>

Watching something seemed to ease John up a bit, like it was some kind of therapy for him. Roxy fought her urge to lean in close to him during it and possibly lose the comfort level that had been gained. Partly, she wished a horror flick had been chosen so she'd have a better excuse to cling onto someone, even though she could take all the blood and gore any movie had ever thrown at her. She used to attempt that sort of thing with Dirk before she discovered that her chances with Dirk were approximately the same as the limit of 1/x as x approaches infinity.

Which meant they were approximately nil.

Which they weren't with John. And they might actually stand a chance of being quite good chances if she just managed to not screw herself up. She got the feeling sometimes that he was deliberately avoiding her gaze, but then she wasn't sure if maybe she was staring at him a bit too much.

But then sometimes, when she was looking away, she almost thought she caught him looking at her. Was it her imagination? Wishful thinking?

In any case, the film ended and John's father called them in to sit and have some fruit while he finished dinner.

Roxy decided that choosing to sit next to John was not bad under the circumstances - it was a small table, and sitting next to Rose and the boy she had recently met was not only justified, but reasonable, considering the alternative would be Rose and that same boy's father. She convinced herself of this, brushing any thoughts of the strangeness of sitting between childhood friends aside.

As they all sat and starting picking things out of the center bowl, she pondered if maybe she could get away with that thing where they both reach for something at the same time and _casually_ brush hands.

"So, John," Rose interrupted Roxy's thoughts, and John looked across the table at her. "Did you ever have any luck with that program you were doing?"

"Which one? Uh..." John responded, trying to remember if he'd told Rose about one of his projects and when that might have been. "Last...week?" He squinted. "I got it to run, but I'm still getting errors. I sort of gave up and started something else for now." He sighed a bit, but then a thought seemed to strike him. "Are you even interested in this?"

Roxy lit up before he could question Rose too much on it. "Well I am! You should show me your code, bet I could teach you a few tricks!" she told him excitedly.

"Oh yeah, I remember you saying you were into programming, too? And a hacker, right?" John smiled at her now as he spoke. "That's pretty cool. I guess I could..." He had an uncertain look for a moment, then glanced over at Rose as if reassured with her presence and continued, "I could have you look at it after dinner, if you want."

"I do want!" Roxy realized this would mean being invited inside John's room. Rose really did do her a solid here. Roxy mentally apologized to Rose for ever doubting her. Although, she did realize the look he had given probably meant he was uneasy about the possibility of being alone with her. She wasn't quite sure what that might mean.

John's dad came in then with plates of food, sitting down with them to eat. Dinner was a casserole involving pasta, meat, cheese, and various vegetables and was excellent.

"This is delicious!" Roxy exclaimed after swallowing a bite and Mr. Egbert smiled and thanked her, saying it was just something he'd whipped up using Hamburger Helper. She laughed a bit at that, then spied that he'd also brought in some dinner rolls.

She wondered if there was still a chance at her plan from before.

_Come on, John, take a roll_ , she tried to will the boy, her own hand twitching with preparedness.

As if on cue, John's hand moved, and Roxy was so startled by her mental order working in such a timely fashion that she almost missed her opportunity. She snatched out her hand quickly to grab with him, so eager for that little casual brush of skin.

She knocked over the salt.

"Oh shit!" She wasn't quite sure of the exclamation was for the salt mishap or her missed brush with destiny. "I'm sorry," she amended afterward. _For the salt, yeah. Yeah, go with that._

"Don't worry about it, it's just a little salt," John's father assured her as she picked the shaker back up. She went to start brushing the salt off the table with her hand when John went to do the same thing and-

She jolted as their hands touched.

John blinked at her, hand still at the small salt pile. "Roxy? Are you okay?" he questioned her. He moved his hand to examine it a bit. "Am I staticky or something?"

No, no this was all wrong. Why did she jump when things had actually, accidentally, gone as planned? Oh for fuck's sake, _why was she getting so worked up about some lame cliche out of a romance movie?_

She laughed to relieve her tension. "No, no, not at all! You just surprised me! I spilt it and all, so I should clean it, right?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

She gave in an embarrassed smile and quickly brushed the salt into her hand, then got up to dispose of it.

Really, this was nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about.

She came back to her seat with a calming breath and a smile, ignoring Rose's expression of knowing amusement.

She had other things to look forward to after dinner, anyway.

==>

After they had all finished their meal, John escorted the two Lalondes to his room. He felt a bit weird about this situation, Rose and Roxy being the one girl he had kissed and the girl he maybe kind of might have feelings for right now respectively, and that wasn't even mentioning the fact that they were related on top of that.  
At least he had a specific task to do. He'd show Roxy his program and see if she could figure out what was wrong. That was all. No need to think about the little things like what he was supposed to do with his hands.

His screen saver played over his computer as he walked over to it, leaning over and fiddling with the mouse before turning himself back to the girls to see that they were with him.

Roxy was back a bit, picking something up off the floor, and John felt a sinking feeling of embarrassment when he saw it was his stupid old magician's hat.

"Uh, that's from when I was a kid," he attempted to explain, but she just smiled.

"I like it," she said and closed the distance between them, hat in her hand. Rose stayed behind, slightly bemused.

Roxy seemed to contemplate for a moment before handing the hat over to John. "Maybe you should put it on and perform some magic for me," she continued, winking as she spoke the word 'magic'. John, for the life of him, could not figure out if she was joking with him. And if so, what the joke was exactly.

"Um..." He gave an uncertain and embarrassed smile before sidling over to his chest and shoving the hat inside.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Rose announced suddenly and John looked up at her. His eyes flicked nervously to Roxy before returning to Rose once more.

"You're going?" he questioned, fiddling with his fingers.

"To the bathroom," Rose repeated. "I do believe you can survive without me. You were going to have Roxy fix your coding for you, right?"

"R-right." John hurried back to his computer and sat down as Rose excused herself, saying she'd return shortly.

Roxy peered over his shoulder as he clicked for his program to run, receiving the familiar error message right away. He felt pinpricks of warmth from her proximity and his heart beat a little faster.

"Can I see your code?" Roxy asked him, rather business-like, and it calmed him down. She wasn't going to ravish him, it was just a little chat from one computer nerd to another. No big deal.

"Of course," he consented and opened it up. Her eyes scanned it in a deep concentration, and John decided to push over from his seat and let her have it so she could see better.

It wasn't long after she took it that "Aha!" was exclaimed triumphantly, and he came in closer to see what she was pointing out.

"You see that?" she asked him, using the mouse cursor to highlight the section in question.

"Um...maybe?" John adjusted his glasses on his nose and leaned in closer. He very much wanted to not sound like he was a dumbass right now. "I think I do. Just...maybe you could tell me exactly so I don't screw it up just in case?"

She just looked at him and he found himself looking back, their faces incredibly close in their current position. His eyes flicked to her lips. They were covered in some sort of soft, shiny lip gloss that he only vaguely remembered her applying after dinner. The edges those lips curled up into a smile as he watched, and he nervously met her eyes once more.

But just as he did, she closed the remaining distance between them.

She was kissing him.

_Roxy was kissing him._

His brain screamed at him a little and he pulled himself away. She looked slightly hurt at his action and he opened his mouth to apologize, to say that it wasn't her, but-  
But instead he found himself closing the distance again. This time being the one to kiss her, taste her candy lips. He felt exhilarated and her hand moved to the back of his head, pressing their faces closer.

Just then, the door opened and they both jumped, pulling away from each other so fast that they almost fell to the ground, computer chair and all.

John's heart slammed in his chest. This was such an awkward situation to get caught, not least of all by Rose. Although she'd seemed understanding when he told her how he felt after they'd kissed a year or so ago and he'd broken things off (if they really even had something to be broken), she still flirted with him, and he wondered sometimes if she still liked him. But then, she also flirted with Jade. And also with Dave, even though they were biologic siblings and it creeped him out. And now that the sections had been open, she also seemed to flirt with....

Well, it was best not to think about it.

In any case, his fears were alleviated pretty much immediately with Rose's response. Specifically, that was to smirk and say the words, "Oh, please, don't let me interrupt."

John laughed out a bundle of nerves. A flick of his tongue over his lips caused him to realize that he had some of Roxy's candy-flavored lip gloss on them. He felt and utter fool and sucked them into his mouth to hide his shame.

"Perhaps I should leave?" Rose suggested, in a tone that revealed she was trying not to laugh.

"No, um," John replied, more embarrassed than he'd been in his life before, "you don't have to go, really."

Roxy straightened herself back over the computer. She whisked a lock of hair that hand come free back behind her ear. "I just need to show this little fix to John is all." She motioned John back over, and he stiffly did so, although keeping more distance than he had before. He watched her delete the highlighted section and quickly type out the correct sequence and as he watched, it clicked in his head.

"Ooooh," he let out.

She beamed. "So now it should work. And...we should probably go," she acknowledged, getting up from the computer chair.

"Weren't you going to stay for dessert?" he asked them both.

Roxy came back over to him and quickly kissed him on the cheek, causing his face to heat up again. "Maybe another time?" she half-whispered into his ear.

He forced himself to nod and she took a few backward steps away from him before turning to Rose near the door.

"We'll see you tomorrow in class, John," Rose said by way of a parting message.

"Yeah," John agreed, still slightly dumbfounded at what had just occurred. "See you."

He followed them out his bedroom door and to the door to the hallway where they said bye again and the door shut behind them.

Girls were so confusing.

==>

Roxy sighed as the door shut behind her, a smile on her face.

"Happy?" Rose questioned her.

"Incredibly!" Roxy gave her genetic relative a squeeze as she spoke. "You are the best, Rose, I'm sorry I ever doubted youuuuuuu!"

Rose just laughed.

"But I think I'm just going to head back to my place now, sort some things out, that okay?" Roxy continued.

Rose nodded her off and she strode down the hall, saluting to the hallway guard at the now-open alpha/beta section doorway.

Even though she'd corrected John's error, there was still so much more that was sloppy about that code of his. He could cut out so many unneeded steps and have a smoother program run. She could definitely teach him a few things.

Yeah...he would need her help again for sure.

And when he did...

She would definitely stay for some dessert.


End file.
